WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?

by RFB
The afterglow of my conservative epiphany having worn off, I am now faced with the reality of my situation. A month ago, I was still surfing the wave of Liberal Elitist Euphoria. Now, suddenly, I find myself a member of the disenfranchised minority. The other guys are led by a smart, charismatic and clever politician. We are led by...John Boehner? They run the House. They have 58 seats in the Senate, and when those damned activist judges in Minnesota get through with their coup d'etat (oops!-- there again with the French--forgive me, Le Rushbeaux) against the fairly and squarely elected Norm Coleman, they will have 59.

Am I happy that our terrorist-coddling president is going to turn us into a Socialist country in one fell swoop by imposing a 3% tax hike on 5% of the population? Of course not. But as a conservative, my natural instinct is to look on the bright side. Because being conservative is all about being positive.

And there is much to be positive about. For instance, just look at how much better the Republicans are doing as the opposition party. Let's be honest--we didn't always walk the walk the last few years. We increased the deficit by a lot. We increased entitlements. Our Social Security taxes still go to Washington, rather than Wall Street, where they belong. But that has changed. Since The Bama took power, Republicans have not increased the deficit by one cent! (Unless you count the RINOs--Specter, Snow, and Collins). We have been absolutely unified in our opposition to increased government spending. I could not be prouder.

Speaking of the RINOs--another thing to be positive about! We have a wonderful opportunity to purify our party. See ya, Arlen Specter! See ya, tax-hiking California Republican Assemblypeople!

And weren't those Tea Parties the ultimate headrush? I almost can't wait until next April 15!

I feel so much better already.