THE BEST TRAVEL ADVICE EVER!

By Bob McKay

Here is the some of the best travel advice you will ever receive:

When you are lost--anywhere--the place to ask for directions is...the pizza place.

Feel free to quit here.You have received 98% of the wisdom provided in this post.

 For further details about the evolution of this brilliant concept, read on.

So, last month my wife and I were driving to a hotel on the outskirts of Rome. Armed with Mapquest directions and my uncanny homing skills, our arriving successfully was destined to be a slam-dunk.

Until we realized that Mapquest is completely useless in Italy.

"Bear right at Il Corso di Lasagna (0.4 km)
5th right atVia di Victorio Emmanuelle d'Bennedetto Garibaldi-(1.8 km)
Bear just slightly left at Piazza Benito Mussolini il Batardo--5.4 km"

If you get the first 3 turns correct, you are a brilliant navigator, or lucky. But eventually, you are destined to lose it, because, a) None of these streets actually have street signs b) there are no real intersections in Italy, just roundabouts and splits in the road  and c) If your rental Lancia does have a trip odometer, you are afraid to look for it for fear of pressing the wrong button

So it was that we were hopelessly lost. According to the paper from the hotel's website, the hotel was in Lazio. So we stopped and asked somebody where Lazio was. She helpfully pointed straight ahead. Turns out that was like being lost in the Valley and asking somebody where Los Angeles County is.

Next try--stop at the first open place of business, which happened to be a pizzeria. I named the name of the street. The delivery man knew right where it was--despite its being 2 blocks long and 5 miles away--and in fact happened to be heading that way to make a delivery. It was as he led us to our hotel that it dawned on me-every pizza guy in the entire world knows every street within their delivery radius. So...Lost? Go to the pizza place. Lost, and hungry? Even better.

And if you must use Mapquest, at least ask the agent at the car rental desk where the trip odometer is.